Well, my immediate thought was, "What a stupid cunt." Some of this stuff may be too local for anyone except VU students to get the implications . . . but oh, man. Now, this was after we'd already edited her column because it had several glaring factual inaccuracies in it. So I sent her a friendly email: I am the assistant editor of The Torch; as such, I am unable to write letters to the editor or to write a column in response to yours. But I feel a need to address your crappy column from this past week. I have absolutely no interest in going after your views on the ROTC or female ordination, because I honestly don’t know much about the subjects and couldn’t care less in the first place. But other issues . . . You know, what I really liked about your column is the fact that you are apparently too lazy to do any sort of research before you write it, or you are perfectly willing to lie through your teeth to get your point across, not caring who you mislead or hurt. Either way pretty much speaks to a fairly sizeable lack of human worth on your part. Even though we had to haul your lazy butt in here to correct something that would have taken five minute’s worth of conversation in the Senate office to get right in the first place, there are still some inaccuracies in your column. (By the way, the fact that financial self-sufficiency was the reason for denying mainline status to IVCF fairly efficiently undercuts your argument that "the groups who support the Lutheran doctrine" aren’t receiving any funds because they discriminate against homosexuals. Did you not realize this, or just not care how ineffectual your argument is?) First, relating to IVCF, you incorrectly state that they "tried to get their group recognized by Student Senate so they could receive money from the school, and they were denied." Not true. They were applying for mainline status, which would give them a budget they would then work within. IVCF can apply for money from Student Senate at any time, just like every other group on campus. In fact, a way to rephrase the reason for their denial was that they hadn’t asked often enough – they couldn’t prove that they needed it. The ability for them to get money has always been and still is there; it is not the fault of Student Senate or even hellbound faggots that IVCF did not avail themselves of it more often. Watch the way you word your argument about the proposed (and now failed) gender minority senate seat. You don’t have to go much farther than the front page of the same issue of The Torch your column appeared in. Alliance has about a hundred official members; ten of them signed a petition for a seat. Alliance does not want a senate seat; Nic Katona does. By the way, what does coming "from a ‘decent’ family" have to do with being a minority? What is a "decent" family? That pretty much takes care of the factual inaccuracies, but there’s still the sheer stupidity of some of your arguments to address. The court on whether gays "choose" to be a minority is still out, which you don’t seem to be aware of, but . . . "Just because you want to openly flaunt your sins to the world doesn’t mean we should give you preferential treatment"? "If homosexuals wanted a support group, they should have gone to a school that wasn’t as supportive of the Bible"? You know, we have just got to force all non-Lutheran students off this campus. Disband the Muslim Students’ Association. After all, their organization and its purposes are scarcely in line with the Bible. I dislike arguing for or against anything on Biblical evidence, but I would like to point out that if you’re going to be a bigot, you should be a consistent one. If you want to exclude all those who make "lifestyle choices" which are not in keeping with Biblical teachings, then you have to extend it to Muslims, Jews, Buddhists – yes, there are some on campus – and quite probably Catholics. (http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp) Hey, they made their choice to not be Christians and they’re all going to hell; they should not be allowed to pollute this campus or, once here, should not be allowed to form groups or try to convince others that they should be tolerated just because they openly flaunt their sins to the world. Of course, maybe you do believe all this; you appear to be just ignorant enough to do so. In this case, I fully encourage you to write a follow-up column which sets the record straight about these groups – you don’t want to look like you’re giving them preferential treatment because of their sinful status. If you don’t believe this, then I have to say I don’t have much respect for your powers of logical thinking. Just what, exactly, do you think the purpose of Alliance is? Why does its simple existence make you foam so much at the mouth? It’s not a place to hook up with others, if that’s what you’re thinking. People are members for various reasons. Some are simply so disgusted with what they feel that they have decided to lead lives of celibacy instead of acting on their desires. They come to Alliance because they don’t know anyone else who will support their decision of abstinence without telling them they’re worthless. Is this inappropriate? Maybe they should have killed themselves instead, or given themselves up to the inevitability of their damnation and had sex with anything they could catch. That way, they’d fit the stereotype of your own narrow mind better, and the world could be a more ordered, comforting place for you. There’s a difference between presenting reasoned arguments based on personal opinion and being an ignorant shithead. Somewhere along the way, you crossed the line. Otto

Okay, maybe I don't mean "friendly," but "spewed hatred intended to make you cry, drop out of school, and become a trailer park manager." What can I say? I just do rage well. Fortunately, she took the time to carefully craft a response to my letter. Fortunate for The Torch office, anyway, because those of us here who read it laughed our asses off. All misspellings, grammar mistakes, and just plain idiocy are hers: you may not of liked my article adn frankly i dont care if you did or not. i wrote it becaue the last time i checked my bible it states that if you stand by and let stuff go on that is against god you are just as guilty as if you were doing it yourself. if you want to know exactly where it says that e-mail me back and i will let you know. also, you want to know why i think there were only ten signatures on the petition that was sent to all the people of alliance is that there really arent that many gays on campus. and if my assumption is correct why are we giving them money to represent less than 3% of campus. besides i really dont like the fact that my tuition money is being used to support peoples choice of a sinful life. about the other groups you mentioned i beg to differ. last time i checked the jews do follow the bible. it is called the old testiment. if people are jewish doesnt make them wrong they just follow the laws from the old testiment. plus the bible does say that christ came first for the jew them for the gentile so i guess you are wrong there. Buddhidts and muslims may not be christian but they do follow their own laws. and if you take time to study those religions you will see that most of what they follow is very similar to christian beliefs. and where do you get off saying catholics arent christian. they do believe in christ therefore making them christian. also do a quick review of sodom and gomorah, roamn empire, and the greek empire. see why they all fell. then tell me if you dont see america going down the same paths as the above mentioned cities and empires. if you want to condone homosexuality by all means go for it, it isnt my soul that will be in jeopardy. and keep in mind we are on a LUTHERAN campus that follows the BIBLE, that if it werent for those two reasons i wouldnt of written that article. [Erin Krueger]

Yeah, this is what she sounds like without an editor. Well, naturally I was delighted to receive a response, because I was sort of stressed out at the time about some of my classwork, and this gave me a chance to do some recreational writing. So I wrote back to her. Sorry if this is a little confusing; I kept the text of her original letter in order to respond more or less point-by-point. To make this easier, my comments are the only ones indented: you may not of liked my article adn frankly i dont care if you did or not. You don’t care that the obvious implications of your inaccuracies are either that you are lazy or a liar? What an odd little amoral creature you are. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at your inconsistency at this point in time, but I thought you came from a "decent" family which would disapprove of these things. i wrote it becaue the last time i checked my bible it states that if you stand by and let stuff go on that is against god you are just as guilty as if you were doing it yourself. if you want to know exactly where it says that e-mail me back and i will let you know. That’s quite all right – I am not a Christian and it’s therefore fairly useless to quote the Bible at me in an attempt to convince me of something. I can, however, use it in arguments against you, as you have stated that you draw your moral conclusions from it. And, if you like, I can show you just where the Bible says a woman shouldn’t dress like a man. You hussy. also, you want to know why i think there were only ten signatures on the petition that was sent to all the people of alliance is that there really arent that many gays on campus. Trust me, there’s more than ten. [Otto Internet additional: Actually, my favorite comment came from a big gay friend, who said, "Ten? I've KISSED more guys than that." and if my assumption is correct why are we giving them money to represent less than 3% of campus. . . . what? When did money come into this? Are you just making things up, now? If you’ll remember correctly, the original issue was about representation, not finances. It’s not as though getting the seat would have given Alliance more money. And even if you really are trying to talk about request for funds in your own confusing illogical way and you do consider giving money to a group because it’s small inappropriate, why aren’t you in there every week protesting, say, VUDU comedy’s request for funds? They have a membership about one-tenth of Alliance’s. besides i really dont like the fact that my tuition money is being used to support peoples choice of a sinful life. And if I had my way, I would deny funding to IVCF, College Republicans, and any hint of an idea of scholarship money for people who make up those groups or people like you, who spit blood and venom to tell other people they’re pieces of shit and then somehow think you’re entitled to respect. about the other groups you mentioned i beg to differ. last time i checked the jews do follow the bible. it is called the old testiment. if people are jewish doesnt make them wrong they just follow the laws from the old testiment. plus the bible does say that christ came first for the jew them for the gentile so i guess you are wrong there. . . . and Jews don’t believe that Christ was the Messiah, so I guess you’re wrong there. You, incidentally, don’t seem to be a very good Christian. I thought that the Bible was supposed to be the incontrovertible word of God. Maybe I was wrong. The Jews on this campus and in most of the world have had multiple chances to accept Christ and the Gospel and haven’t. You could even say that it’s more sinful of them to have denied him because he supposedly came especially for them. Unless you can find something in the Bible to argue that this is wrong: "Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No-one comes to the Father except through me." (John Chapter 14 verse 6) Jews surely do seem to be one of the people you should classify as hell-bound sinners. Must be nice to be able to just blatantly ignore parts of the Bible when you realize that it forces you to make some very unpopular statements. Oh, trashing queers is fine, but yell about the Jews and you know you’d have half of campus on your back. Buddhidts and muslims may not be christian but they do follow their own laws. and if you take time to study those religions you will see that most of what they follow is very similar to christian beliefs. Same thing applies to them as to the Jews, only more so. Do you suddenly just have to follow some sort of laws that have vague resemblances to Christianity to be a Christian, now? Sure is a surprise to me. Seems to me that if you say that people so obviously sinners in their continued refusal of Christianity aren’t going to hell (which really, you should, to be a consistent Christian, you know), you could let in a few homosexual Christians. There are plenty on this campus, who follow the same Biblical guidelines you do and refrain from sex. After all, there are prohibitions in both the Old and New Testaments against lying or laziness, and you sure seem to have screwed up one or both of those – and not a mention of repentance for it, I noticed. and where do you get off saying catholics arent christian. they do believe in christ therefore making them christian. What, you’re suddenly changing your definition of what it takes to not go to hell? I have many, many sources which beg to differ with you about Catholicism: http://website.lineone.net/~lwbc/catholicism.htm http://www.dokimos.org/catholic http://www.concentric.net/~Egoward/CatholicBibleAnswers.htm http://www.whatsaiththescripture.com/Voice/Fifty.Years.Church.Rome.html All of these contain Biblical as well as historical evidence proving that Catholics are not Christians and I must say are much better constructed than anything you’ve ever submitted. [Otto's Internet additional: no, I don't hate Catholics; yes, I do think Catholics are Christian. But the arguments of the insane religious right are great to use against the arguments of the stupid religious right.] also do a quick review of sodom and gomorah, roamn empire, and the greek empire. see why they all fell. Let’s see . . . Greece fell to Rome, and then the traditional religion of Rome was thrown out by a succession of Christian emperors who had such poor management skills that the city was eventually weakened enough to get its ass kicked by the Germans. If you’re implying that we shouldn’t put Christians in charge because they’ll fuck everything up, I agree. Maybe you should REALLY start researching things before you use them as support for your arguments. Sodom and Gomorrah . . . well, again, I’m not one for Bible-banging, but as you are: http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibg.htm then tell me if you dont see america going down the same paths as the above mentioned cities and empires. Yeah, I think evil and stupid Christians are starting to take over, and it scares the hell out of me. Which is why I’m doing my part. if you want to condone homosexuality by all means go for it, it isnt my soul that will be in jeopardy. Well, at least your soul’s safe, as you obviously don’t have a mind to protect. and keep in mind we are on a LUTHERAN campus that follows the BIBLE, that if it werent for those two reasons i wouldnt of written that article. And we all would have been living in a world with a little less stupidity and ugliness in it. Well, if you’d (again) do some research on what the LUTHERAN position on homosexuality and the BIBLE was, you’d know that the ELCA does not as yet have an official position and cannot endorse your argument. Of course, if you must insist with Mr. Adler [Otto Internet additional: long story on this you really don't need to know, just that he's the resident crazy fuckwad even the conservatives dislike being associated with.] that people in the ELCA are not real Lutherans, I must again point to the evidence that you don’t really seem to be a real Christian. It is a damaging American myth that we are all entitled to our opinions. This is not true. You are not entitled to an opinion; you are entitled to an informed opinion. There’s a big difference, and until you know jack shit about absolutely anything, I suggest you not display your idiocy so prominently. Even after spending two years as the Opinions Editor, the ability of people to be stupid assholes never fails to surprise me. I've printed more stupid articles than yours, but seldom ones so stupid, arrogant and cruel. And as far as your email went – I mean, come on, there’s a spell check built into practically every word processing program more advanced than Notepad, including Simeon. Use the damn thing. Otto

I never heard from her after that. Presumably, she either realized that she wasn't going to win because she was wrong (unlikely) or because I was too heavily mentally damaged to continue to talk to (more probable). There were several letters to the editor the week afterwards calling her a stupid fuckwad as well, but this is my page, so screw 'em, I had better points anyway. I have no idea if I'm really allowed to take all this and put it on the Internet, but hey. VU can kiss my pasty white ass if they don't like it. Krueger can be killed in combat, if she so wishes.

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